Candied Pecan Biscotti's

Kids Birthday Ideas

Having a kids birthday?
This site has some really neat themes! Just adorable and beautiful.
http://www.rattleandmum.co.za/2012/06/19/the-best-kids-birthday-party-themes/

I am trying to plan cake and decorating ideas for my nieces 1st birthday coming up in a couple of weeks. She will be in town from Madison, WI. I am so excited!

Sometimes I draw on my fridge.

Rumchata Cupcakes

Rumchata Cupcakes for a Bachelorette Outing. In my opinion, Rumchata makes way better cupcakes than a drink! Rumchata shots taste exactly like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Waaaay too sweet for me! And that cream, Heartburn in a shot. ICK! But that bit of a rum taste, sweetness, and cinnamon make a great little cupcake!

And.. I get by with a little help from my friends. A Stella while in the kitchen, and a pretty apron on.. makes me feel 100percent bliss. That and some good tunes on the record player like Patsy Cline, Hank Williams, Emmy Lou or Linda Ronstadt. Or .. secretly some Fleetwood Mac. These are the best baking, running, jumping around the house tunes :) It makes me feel amazing.

Lady Fingers for Tiramisu

The first time that I ever made Lady Fingers was quite an experience. They are not easy. The first time around making them I had to make Tiramisu for the first time to serve about 200 people, So.. my nerves got to me a bit. And lets just say, Lady Finger batter is a pain in the butttttt I learned! And frustration, and a HOT kitchen will not do these delicate cookies good! But that was almost a year ago. This time around, they went extremely smooth. I made several dozen though and it is best to do small batches at a time, or if the batter gets to heavy it will kill it. Lady Finger batter is very different than cake batter, Gobs (Whoopie Pies), or etc. You must beat the egg whites and yolk mixtures separately and then very very gently FOLD the two together. Just ONE heavy hand move and it can kill your entire batter. It will just flatten it and you will have completely flat cookies. The batter is whipped heavily and folded together to create a very light, foamy, airy consistency. And it needs to keep that way in order to put the batter in a piping bag and pipe your fingers. 

Here are some Tips I have learned:

1. Don't work in a really warm atmosphere, it will flatten your Lady Finger batter too quickly.

2. Fold very gently, moving your hand in about 10 second moves. Ladyfinger batter is very fragile so it is very important to fold the flour and yolks carefully into the meringue so that the whites do not lose their volume.

3. It is generally suggested that cream with 25% fat is best for making mascarpone, but 36% works just as well.

4. Always use the double broiler method for making the thick yolk mixture to add to your mascarpone cheese. Otherwise your yolks will easily cook to fast and you will end up with a curdled mess. (I made many trips to the store to rebuy eggs because I was trying to hurry and ignore this part. And I would rather purchase an actual double broiler pan). 

5. While using the double boiler to make the mascarpone, ensure that the bottom of the bowl on top doesn't touch the bottom of the lower one. It is important to use a stainless steel bowl to pour your cream into, while making the mascarpone.

6. It might be a good idea to decide the size of the dish in which you intend to set the dessert, and make the fingers to a size which will fit that dish. This makes it easier when assembling the tiramisu later. Do remember that Lady Fingers puff up a little while baking.

7. Lady Finger cookies may be stored up to 7 days in an airtight container. Work ahead and make them a few days before you need them to save a bit of a hassle. Store in a cool place or in the refrigerator.

8. Make the mascarpone layer the day before so it has time to thicken and you don't have much to worry about the day of assembly. It must at least chill for an hour.

9. Placing the bowl (in which cream will be whipped) and the beaters of the hand held mixer in the fridge for about 1/2 to 1 hour before hand makes the cream whip up very well.

10. Dont dip the Lady Fingers into your coffee/liquor for too long or let them sit, or they will fall apart. Again, they are very soft and delicate. Dipping the cookies only on one side, will allow them to soak up plenty of the liquid and not become TOO soggy or distribute too much liquid in the rest of the cake.

11. If you would like to de-mould your Tiramisu from your dish (cutting can be easier and neater this way, you can line your dish with plastic wrap (leaving a little extra on the sides of the dish) and then start assembling your Tiramisu. Once the tiramisu sets in the refrigerator, you can use the overhang to pull the Tiramisu out of the dish.

12. Making a neat round Tiramisu - you can layer your cake into a springform pan. It may be best to freeze the cake for a few hours aside from refrigerating for up to 5 hours, in order to make sure it keeps its shape. And then.. just pop off the sides of the pan. Place your Lady Fingers around the cake and tie a pretty ribbon around. Not only would this look beautiful, but the ribbon around the cookies also acts as a wall to hold the cake together in its perfect shape. 

13. I love Cacao Nibs sprinkled on top along with cocoa. 

14. Make your Lady Finger batter in single batches at a time. If you are trying to create too much batter, your whites will just have too much pressure when trying to fold the yolks and flour in. Also, it will just be to much batter to try to fold gently and not over mix. 

This site also gives some handy tips for creating a round Tiramisu. http://www.wildyeastblog.com/2010/02/27/raspberry-tiramisu/  They create templates on parchment and pipe large round discs with the Lady Finger batter for the bottom and in-between layers of the cake. Great Idea! Thus, creating pretty much a full mold for the cake with the bottom and sides secure. Looks safe. I will have to try it the next time I make this. As for now, I just laid out the individual cookies as usual.

It is funny how we always keep learning. Which suddenly goes along with the song that I've had in my head all morning "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now". Honestly, I like the Byrds version better. ha. Maybe that's because it reminds me of my father. But it kind of goes along with the thinking of how being in our early 20's or at age 18-19, we seem to think we know a lot and are so wise. But we eventually realize that there is so much more in the world to know about, or that it is actually exciting to keep learning and its okay to have to keep learning. And it is exciting to look at life Dreaming, full of wonder and curiosity, and have an opened mind - not a closed mind. 
Or maybe I wonder if this song makes me feel like when we are in our 20's, we do so much planning and worrying, and being so serious - or maybe that is just me. Because A lot of people my age don't seem to have a problem being more laid back and free spirited. But when we get older, we somewhat go back to being young and realize we just need to LIVE and not plan so much. So we have that more free spirit. 

But the view of a child is still a part of me, being a constant dreamer and full of curiosity. It's what is needed to be creative.

Typography Cake

the Summer Day

There is a great comfort with blending butter and flour by hand. Whether it be working the mixture with your fingertips to create a crumb mixture for Scones, or for a pie or tart crust, the feeling is equivalent. When taking the time to do this by hand, not only do you get the perfect texture for your product, but you get to really feel your work. With every squeeze of your fingertips, mushing and crumbling, you sense relaxation, accepting everything around. You are in the moment. Life feels good and nothing is on your mind. The same experience is felt a bit when making a streusel topping. It is just so simple, but amazing. You get the best pleasure out of doing these few things by hand, or I do at least. And it takes little time at all.

And then comes filling them, which it is hard to go wrong and easy to just feel what you are working with by mixing your fruit with a bit of spice and sweetness in a bowl, and then additional ingredients to get the thickness you feel you need. Somehow I can just feel it. I couldn't tell someone else how to mix these ingredients, but the beauty of pies and tarts like these, you can just feel your ingredients and do it the way you prefer. Your creation can really be you and full of your own heart and love. My favorite ingredient is always ground cardamom. There is something about cardamom. A little bit goes a long way. But that little bit adds a strong, unique spicy-sweet taste with an amazing aroma. It is a spice that is more expensive than your average spice, but well worth it mixed with fruit for a nice warm tart or pie. It is especially good in Banana Bread to add a bit of uniqueness. I often like to throw in a bit of ginger with many of my fruits including pear, blueberry, cranberry. Ginger is another spice that adds a little kick to your average sweet/sugary. When working with tarts, it is also soothing to take time to lay fruit out nicely and it can help develop something absolutely beautiful - adding a bit of pattern, design, order, and perfection. They can look so clean and fresh - the perfect late summer treat to feel the joys of the season and lightness of your life.

But my joy really comes from the pastry blending with my fingertips and when I get to add a few sprinkles of cardamom. These littlest of things brighten my whole day and are the highlight.

However, lets not forget the simple joys of sharing with friends and family. They are such a quick and simple treat, but everyone enjoys them. My father would prefer a blueberry or peach tart over many things (but it may compete with key lime pie or a marshmallow malt!). A dollop of ice-cream on-top of these tarts adds even more comfort.

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

New Directions

So about a year ago already, I quit my design job and decided to take the plunge into baking as a career. My following post I mentioned a life changing event and what did it make me do? Shoot to really LIVE and accomplish everything I want to in life. It made me tell myself what I was here to do. 

And as I started up at a new local business as head baker full of much passion and many ideas, I found out it wasn't all going to be easy and often things don't work out as planned, and its important to find the right environment. I've moved around a bit, but I keep learning from each experience and I keep pushing to learn more, achieve more, and live/bake/design steadily. So now I am on to a new adventure at a wonderful local business with great, fresh food, good company - As the main baker creating every day cakes and other pastries. I am helping the owner create amazing large cakes for all occasions including weddings, birthdays, baptisms, graduation, etcetera. She is wonderful with fondant and I am happy to be in a creative environment. I enjoy such an environment that I can have my own creative uniqueness and develop cakes the way I like to. I look forward to keep growing and sharing with you. Thank you :)

As sometimes I find things difficult and stressful while not taking the easy route and following something a bit different, this is interesting:

“Are you looking for a safe and stable position today? One that

is secure, predictable, and nonthreatening? Then maybe you’re

missing the best opportunities. I truly believe that if defeat or

failure is not possible, then winning will not be very sweet.”

Dan Miller

Being Reborn - Or something like it.

This is where I begin. 

I am possibly going to try to take things in a new direction and have some ideas of creating more out of this blog. I have been holding off due to changes in work and also not knowing where to begin. But I am going to begin by telling a story. This is a story of life and distractions. It is a difficult subject but really it is no big deal and something that happens too often. I am going to speak of it as something that isn't that big of a deal anymore, but yet its an important story to tell, subject, and an important beginning. I tell this story in hopes to eventually help others, reach out about the subject matter, and also it be somewhat of a direction for a new blog style/purpose.

Like many college graduates, I was still unsure of where I wanted to go. I knew my passions and my dreams, but I didn't know my path. I was lost as many recent college graduates can relate. I was lost career wise and relationship wise. I was talented and used my creativity,  but was trying to figure out my way, passing time, and trying to not be too anxious. 

I was bringing apple pie and ice cream to a friend and going to use their dryer. I enjoyed sharing baked goods with others. I felt joy in experimenting in the kitchen, and believed everyone needs a nice warm dessert to feel comfort. Laundry machines had a long wait in my complex. I was tired of waiting and knew I had a busy week ahead. After waiting around for a free machine, darkness came before I knew it. I was leaving in the night. But many people were in and out of the building throughout the night. The apartments were full of others my age coming and going, working overnights, and often outside for a smoke. I felt comfortable in my area. It was a hectic day. My brother was getting married in four days and I was to be a bridesmaid. I spent all day constructing 300 wedding programs, sewing them to bind and I knew I needed my rest. I was in a hurry, but went about things as I often did. I'd come and gone late at night before. I felt safe. 

As I reached to set pie in my car, I was grabbed from behind. I screamed and dropped my apple pie. It flew slowly in the air and I watched it splat on the ground. As I looked up, I saw a young dark man with a knife. "Shut up! Get into the car," he said in a deep voice as he held his knife straight up.

In this position, you go into survival mode. What went through my head, at that time was mostly blank. I froze I suppose. I thought "Oh No!" But subconsciously it was "I need to live, help me god." I guess that was mainly my first reaction, I remember thinking the second I saw his face, "I've heard about you. I know what happens next. Oh no, you are real!" I instantly was praying in my head. I don't think I knew who I was talking to, but I was praying "please any way out of this." This is what went through my head as he forced me to drive him to a different location. "Please let me live." He didn't want my cards, my car, he wanted much more... power, and to satisfy himself. He asked how old I was and what came out of my mouth was that I was 18. Why didn't I say younger, It probably wouldn't have mattered. He asked if I had any money. I scrambled through my purse and spilt change all over and found a ten dollar bill. "How do I get out of this? How do I get out of this?" I had thoughts of purposely crashing my car. I pulled into a random driveway thinking maybe I could run to the door, he screamed "What are you doing? WHO LIVES HERE? WHO LIVES HERE?" and shoved the knife into my face as he clenched onto me. I was trapped in my vehicle. 

I listened to him. I just wanted to live. I tried another time to escape and he showed the knife. I knew I wanted to live. I felt half there. When I told him I felt I couldn't breath, somehow I thought he'd realize I was about to faint and care. I thought he'd realize I was a human being. That when I told him I was just bringing pie and ice cream, he'd realize I was a kind person minding my own business. When I said these things a noise came out of his mouth "pshhhhh" and he shrugged because he had no care. He told me to turn many corners and I asked where we were going, shaking and in fear. Why did I bother asking. He told me to drive into an empty parking lot to an old Forestry Building. He said to pull way to the back and turn my car and lights off. As my lights take awhile to turn off automatically,  he yelled and I felt the need to apologize. I tried to escape out my door as he said to get into the backseat. But with a knife shoved in my face I stepped into the back from inside. While doing so, he grabbed my butt and said "aww yeah, I'd like a piece of that," as he stared me up and down like a piece of meat.  A large laundry basket full of clothes was in the way and he made me move it, he wasn't going to do anything. He watched every move I made closely with a knife ready. He said to take off my panties. I knew what was happening and felt outside of my body, that I couldn't control anything, it was just happening. So I said ahead of myself "I am having my period, I have a tampon, should I take it out?"  He made that weird noise again "pshhhhh."  And tells me to get over and give him oral. But he said it worse, he said in a deep voice "COME SUCK MY DICK."  And then he performed vaginal intercourse. I stared off to the side and felt nothing. I felt like I was actually hovering over my body, watching. He asked if I'd ever had sex before. And I blurted out the number of serious relationships, which was very few based on my morals. He kept going and asked "Does your boyfriend like it like this?"  He said in loud frustration, "You're dry as fuck."  Then he asked me to turn over. Nothing seemed to please him. Minutes seemed like hours. I felt like I was in a dream. I felt, I must get out of this. I kept silent. For in a way, I think I felt like guardian angels were there. I knew someone was watching over me and even though I couldn't help what was going on, someone was helping me get through it. Or I knew I needed to survive and I did what I had to. As nothing pleased him, He went back and sat on the far passenger side and asked again for me to come over and give him oral. He kept holding the knife straight up in the open. In my dizziness, I said "OKAY! OKAY! Just PLEASE PLEAAASE get the knife out from in front of my face." He shoved my head down. He kept shoving and yanking my head back up. He again asked if my boyfriend liked it like that. I gagged, many times. I kept gagging and then stopping and then I'd look up, wondering when I could stop. He yelled and kept pushing my head. I wondered if I'd ever be able to stop and I worried that I wasn't doing good enough for him. He then told me "okay, go back up front" and as I began to move, he must have realized I looked like I was about to vomit or I was in fear of not satisfying. He says in his deep evil voice "What's WRONG?" I felt I had to bow down, I felt I had to apologize "I am really sorry, I am sorry, my mouth, my mouth is just really small." I felt I didn't satisfy him, and I was suppose to apologize for not doing good enough. But I was able to climb up front. He then told me to drive to a different location. He forced me to withdraw money from my bank account and when I told him it only allowed me to withdraw 200 instead of 300, I felt I had to apologize again. Then he told me the next direction to drive, clenching onto the back of me with a knife still in hand. Now he talked to me calmly, like I was his friend. He asked my name and told me his name was Brian from Sioux Falls, or something like that. His name wasn't Brian. He asked where I was from and for some reason I actually answered correctly. He was suddenly calmed and talking and behaving like a normal person. Was this because he got his rage out of him already, or because he was trying to be friendly so I wouldn't tell on him. In a way I knew it was about over. I thought if he was going to kill me, it would have already have happened. He led me to a park across town and wanted out. As he tried to open the door before they were unlocked, he got frustrated and punched the window. He fled on foot and I drove as fast as I could across town. I knew I needed to find someone I was close to right away. 

At the time, the person who I felt close to seemed to be someone who comforted me. He went with me to the police right away and to the hospital. Police told me to promise them I would see a counselor. They told me I would have a range of emotions I would have never imagined. A roller coaster of feelings - depression, anger at men, anger at the world, confusion, disbelief, lack of feelings at all, tiredness, anxiety.  It was going to be a long road ahead. I was up all night and went to my brothers house that morning. I showered thinking that was what I was suppose to do. Thinking thats what people do after such a situation, to feel clean, to feel better. But I felt nothing. As a matter of fact I think I felt nothing for awhile. I went back "home" to my parents to stay for a few days before the wedding. I crawled in a ball and hid in the basement in front of the television. That evening my dad came to say goodnight and said "Allie, I sure wish I could erase today for you. But I can't. I just wanted to say, your mother and I, love you very much." This was the first time I'd seen my father with tears. He gave me a big hug and went to bed. He told police if they didn't find the guy, his first reaction was "I will kill the guy." As any father would have these feelings. The man was found with the help of tracking dogs, and swat team, attorney general, and many cops. I like to think that the dog Cooper smelt my apple pie and it is what led him to my attacker. I kept telling myself this and it brought meaning and joy. I collected a couple dozen business cards - police, states attorney, general, counselor, women's shelter. My father asked if I wanted a new vehicle. I couldn't imagine stepping foot back into my jeep. I wanted this jeep for years. I dreamed of having a jeep, I loved the vehicle, but not anymore. Many things were taken from me. I didn't realize what was ahead of me. I went to my brothers wedding though and felt love and happiness around. I actually had so much joy for my brother, nothing was on my mind that day. I drank and enjoyed the night. I drank too much. I sang old memorable songs with my brothers and had the time of my life, but then I slow danced with my father and I broke down. I ended up on the floor of the women's bathroom with my sister in law (not the one getting married) for hours bawling. Both of us with mascara all over our faces. I told her I was angry with god. I never found myself to be a religious person. But I was saying this. When my brother and sister in law who got hitched asked what was wrong they were told "Allie just had too much to drink." We kept the secret from them at this time. 

What was to come was many sleepless nights. Having to sleep with a light on and multiple locks. Catching two hours of sleep and then meeting or having to talk with states attorney or other people the next day. Nightmares. I was prescribed sleeping pills and anti-depressants. But I refused to take them. I decided I wanted to feel. I wanted to deal with everything right then and work through everything. Instead of ignoring and years down the road I would realize I never dealt with such things. I promised myself I wasn't going to shove it into the back of my head. It made me angry seeing others my age having fun around me partying, drinking, and enjoying fun with friends. It made me angry because I couldn't enjoy these things. Life seemed unfair. I wondered why someone that was so cautious about sex, had to be abused. Why me? I analyzed everything and tried to make sense of the whole event. I replayed the event over and over in my head, every little detail. I blamed myself and felt ashamed for not fighting back. I went to a women's doctor once a week to check for STD's, AIDS, etc. I took Plan B. I was absent from work for about two weeks and as I returned I often called in not feeling well because of not sleeping. I was in fear of black males. I have never been racist, but I couldn't help this fear. This case wasn't going to come to a close soon either. For many months I talked with the attorney and the defendant continued and continued to try to bargain. I wouldn't settle and I was told that if he got such and such years, and he couldn't get parole until he was 70, that'd be like he was giving up his whole life. I thought he deserved that and he should have thought about that before he committed wrong. As I talked daily with my father, I told him "This is fucking bullshit" and then apologized for my swearing. I never swore to my dad. Nobody swears to my dad. He said "I fuckin understand." He understood. About one year later things were finally settled in court.  Then a month later he made an appeal and we were back in court. Both appearances he gave apology speeches that made me cringe and full of disgust. They were fake and done for him, not real apologies. He had no idea what he had done or how he made anyone else feel. He was apologizing to help him get less years. For several months, if I had to write the current date for anything, for some reason I had one date in my head and kept accidentally writing it.

I went through the period of not sleeping, and then a period of a month or two of depression and anger, feeling like I could no longer focus on what once made me happy. I tried to work on projects, I tried to bake, but rarely could I finish projects. I was angry that this was taken away from me, along with my vehicle, my home, my sense of safety, my sense of seeing good in people. Being so depressed that you can't enjoy things you once loved is the worst thing ever. I struggled in my relationship. And realized who my true friends were, who would stick by my side through darkness, the WHOLE way. Who would put up with my middle of the night phone calls and panics, and mess of a life. As I struggled and fought in my relationship, eventually I realized it was because it was unhealthy to begin with. And it turned out someone who cared about me, could also physically hurt me. As I worked at different jobs and was bothered by power and control, being pushed around, I sometimes questioned if I imagined it. But the truth is, I did not. What I have realized is that I do not have to be treated in ways that I do not want to be treated. I have realized that it is important to stick up for myself and that it is okay to do so, or to at least walk away from such situations. One does not have to put up with being talked to poorly, being pushed, being put down. It is important to know that I deserve to be treated well. I have developed strength and have realized my worth. I also had an amazing counselor for awhile that helped me focus on myself and realize my self worth and importance. She was certified with EMDR therapy, which is often used for post traumatic stress cases dealing with abuse, or even war vets. Its a hypnosis type of therapy that works wonders and really helps one to gain back calmness,  feeling of safety, comfort. It helps one deal with triggers and flashbacks. I owe a lot to this lady that really helped me come a long way. For months I was in fear of darkness, I couldn't even walk around a house at night and slept with lights on. Its amazing how much one can overcome and how much ahead you can get. 

Today I write this with the feeling of content in this area of my life. It has taken two years now to go through much anger, re-evaluation, meaning, ups and downs, relationships, and friendships. I write feeling no anger. I feel I've allowed myself to feel every emotion and struggle. I've allowed myself to go through all of the darkness, so I could get back to the light. Some of these emotions were not fun, and some can still slip up occasionally. Not every day anymore, or every week or month, but sometimes it just slips up randomly... and that is okay. I realize now that It is not my duty to satisfy others all of the time. And it is okay to live for me. It is funny, this person gave me an apology letter that was a paragraph long, and had no meaning. But at the end it says "Good Luck".  Often sexual abuse is committed by people who experience such things while growing up, or even physical abuse. Domestic Abuse often comes from someone who has experienced it in their childhood. It is like they have to come back and regain their feeling of power. And he was known to have such abuse done to him, so its kind of like he'd had things happen to him and his life was screwed up, so now that he did this to someone else he was going to come back and say "Now you've had someone screw up your life, now good luck to YOU in picking it all back up, it's impossible." But I am. I've picked myself up from a mess. And I still continue to do so, but I have definitely come a long way and I strive to live my life to the fullest and I push and push to follow my dreams. Nothing will stop me. He's made appeals since, but I don't bother caring or making it a part of my life. This person has nothing better to do and some people in this world, are just shitty. That's just the way it is. And holding on to anger and not forgiving humans is only hurting the one holding on to that anger.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. This event HAS brought me to believe in a higher power and belief that at times of uncertainty, we can have a little bit of faith, hope and trust. That no matter what, things eventually will be okay. That no matter what you can see the good out of that bad. So in a way this experience has been a gift : Bringing me closer to family, building a strong relationship with my father, being closer to my brother, knowing good friendships (which was hurtful to come to terms with who those people are and are not, but its important), Bringing more of a purpose to my life, appreciating life more, wanting to LIVE more, achieve more. I've also realized life lessons like You should not treat others bad because of your own pain. I've realized how I want to treat other people and how I want to be treated. I've asked myself "What do you live for?" Back on this April day, in my vehicle, I told myself I wanted to live. I knew I hadn't experience or accomplished everything I wanted to. So I ask what I live for and I know what I live for. I know what I am here to do and I push and push to achieve what I want. It's been a struggle, but nothing is easy. To have ones dream, you have to work for it. Life is a day to day struggle, many things will continue to get in my way or feelings of past events may creep up again unexpectedly, but that's life, and I will not give up or let difficulties or pain bring me down. Everything finally seems very distant now, but I occasionally am reminded. But usually at times that I notice others treating someone poorly or being in situations that I don't like. But I now realize these situations and don't allow myself to be a part of them. I realize too that many people are selfish and out to get what they want, not everyone is perfect, and sometimes we do have to ignore and just carry on. I found myself saying the other day that 24 was a really good year. But I didn't know why that came out of my mouth. Looking at that year, it was full of awful things. I thought about it though and the truth is.. 

Sometimes we need to be BROKEN, in order to be reborn. And to come back as a better you, with strength, growth, and direction. 

So this is why it was the best year of my life. I realized who I was. And I end with a smile on my face. 

As I move forward my goal is to mix life with baking in this blog. A mixture of the journey of life and baked goods/recipes that go along with such stories. Recipes and experimenting in the kitchen and how it touches and soothes the soul, and then giving a little story that fits along with the recipe. Explaining what a creation means to me or how a certain technique makes me feel. If that makes sense. Going along with day to day events, and tying recipes in, and creating meaning to each pastry. Not only does baking make me feel good, but I like the sense of comfort it brings when you share pastries with friends, family, or anyone. The joy, safety, relief it brings to ones day. I hope to help others dealing with struggle and bring a sense of comfort.

Cute as Cupcakes!

I have the cutest niece ever. 

Flickr Page

This is a start of a new beginning. I got a flickr page!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/enjoy-simple-things/

Well, This is a start. My first post to make a motion that is.

My art room was cleaned and organized spic and span.. now for some reason last night I realized something:
Now it is time to stop letting people and past things distract me. I am rewriting my to-do list and actually going to complete and stick with these things....

1. Get a blog going with a personal subject matter that i find very important, reaching out to others
2. Re-start, Re-vamp my baking blog:
Upload many recent baking projects that have not been uploaded. Start taking better photos, post research, and step by step how to's.
3. Complete one wood project/painting idea (quick project)
4. A letter to the public
5. Spend more time teaching my dog tricks and playing fetch.
6. Know that you can forgive people and just let them go. People are who they are. People don't change, and everyone is human and is not perfect. Take others for who they are and carry on.
7. Pastry Tattoo
8. More distinct planning.
9. Continue to stick up for myself and know that it IS "okay."
10. Never lose what you always did things for. Simple pleasures and blissfulness in small things - brightening others day with a simple pastry that is their favorite, a cake that brings memories, or a handmade box or tag.
11. BLOG. fight. blog. make things. blog. create create create. Oh yeah, and keep my art room clean enough to walk in.
12. Continue being me and living for me. As of right now. What do I need and want?