April is just around the corner, therefor
this post and this Chocolate Caramel Coffee Mousse Cake is for all my ladies
and those who are caring human beings. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month
(SAAM).
As Sexual Assault is often looked at as “How do we prevent
this from happening?” We tend to focus on the women. Often women are taught
that it is unsafe to go out in the dark late at night, that it is not safe to wander
in the dark alone, that we should all carry a can of mace, or not wear clothing
that is too revealing. We are taught that we should learn self-defense and know
what one can do in such a situation.
But the term prevention is not really prevention. Instead,
it is risk reduction. All of these things focus on how women can reduce chances
of being assaulted. But if a woman has done everything in her power to avoid
such a situation, then a man, who is prone to commit such abuse or has the need
for power/control, will only move on to another woman or target. And the truth
is, there are many of these men out there. This crime is all about the abuser
and his/her needs to assert his power. So if you prevent yourself from being in
the situation, it doesn’t mean it isn’t going to happen. Our culture produces
violent men. We all need to step back and understand what really needs to be
prevented and how all evil starts.
Of course I will continue to tell my lady friends or any
woman, that you should not walk alone at night and carry pepper spray, but I
think it is also important to take time to think about the fact that all people
are the way they are because of things they have been through, where they were
raised, and how they were raised. In my learning I have come to terms and my
eyes have been opened up to a lot of bad things that happen in the world. From
domestic abuse situations, random shootings, school shootings, and etcetera, a
lot of it stems from how a child is raised. Or it seems that people have been
hurt and they let anger and pain build up, they never get the help they need,
so later they need to seek power that they have previously had taken away from
them. It is a fact that often the abuser in a domestic violence situation also
experienced abuse in their childhood. Or those who use violence or molestation
towards children, they grew up also being violated or being abused by an
alcoholic parent with anger, or another unhealthy living situations. Often in
abuse situations, the abuser has to somehow in their head regain control, or
they have so much built up, or maybe they don’t know what the difference
between right and wrong is. But often abusers tend to come from unstable family
situations, abusive pasts, having lacked attention, etc. So maybe instead of
developing anger, or wondering how we cannot be abused, maybe we can develop an
understanding. What is the root of the issue? How can we really prevent?
So instead of developing our own anger, maybe instead we can
understand and do our best to care for others. Maybe to focus more on the
children. The children who are not as fortunate as you and me. The children who
do not have healthy families, good living situations, with good morals and an
understanding of respect and what is right or wrong. Maybe to get to the root
of the problem, it is important to understand others pain and care for others.
To know that everyone is the way they are because of their own experiences.
Everyone has pain and difficulties and we can all understand that sometimes
things really hurt and have an effect on the way we are day to day or the way
we continue with our lives. Sometimes we all need help. And some of us are more
fortunate than others – having money to seek counseling or having a good stable
family that is there for you. Maybe to get to the root and redirect things, we
can all build an understanding of the importance of helping others. There are
many children that are on a list for the Big Brother Big Sister Program, and
having a mentor, a positive influence in their lives can really help redirect
them and keep them out of being connected with crime. So maybe the real
prevention is making sure the help is there, counseling is available to all of
those who need it, and by us doing our part. We can help care for these
children that are unfortunate, care for children that are already starting to
build up anger, and give them hope and belief that the world is good and that
people CAN be good. Because we cannot make anything better by having the same conscience
as what started such evil. Prevention is stopping things from the beginning.
Building a positive, respectful community. To help these children have a good
understanding of right and wrong, to let them know people care about them,
instead of letting the anger build up and the feeling of NEEDING power. We need
to address the underlying causes of sexual violence. We need to create healthy
norms and healthy communities. We need to teach people about respect and
healthy relationships, as they are young. We need to not laugh at sexist jokes,
to call out friends when they are treating their girlfriend or boyfriend inappropriately.
We need to support and teach our children that men do not have more rights than
women. We need to change the current idea that men do have more power into the
belief that we are all equal.
“ Mary explained that Sex Offenders
(SOs) are very angry young men who sexually assault those that are weaker than
them, in order to dominate and control. These young men have learned to be
sexually aggressive, either because they have been socialized to it or because
they have been victims themselves.
The structure of our society breeds
aggressiveness and dominance in males and silence and submissiveness in females.
This is the perfect combination that makes rape possible. It is also very
evident at this facility that it is our culture's allowance of aggressive
tendencies in men that perpetuate sexual assault. If our society had no
tolerance for violent behavior, young men would not be able to develop such
traits.”
“What they learn as boys, they do as
men. That's why we need to teach our sons and other boys in our lives that
violence against women is wrong. Now, when they need to hear it most,” says a
print ad, which shows boys in baseball uniforms.
Maybe we can all just again, remember
to repeatedly tell our children if we have children, how to be respectful,
treat others, and stand up for what is right.
It is also important to always remember
that we all have the opportunity to choose the right attitude, in any given set
of circumstances. When we face our own life troubles, or have bad things come
our way, we can always create good out of the bad. Choosing the right attitude
will either allow us to enjoy life to the fullest, or not. You can choose
better decisions to live a happy life, or you can bring out hurt onto others.
Lets remember to keep the circle positive. Create your own happiness. Choose
good thoughts, choose the right thoughts. Treat others well, take time to
understand people, and care for all.
Goat Cheese, Pomegranate, Cranberry, Cardamom Puffs 
Pear & Ginger Tarts
